What do you want for your child?
If you are like most parents, you want your child to grow up happy and healthy, with a strong sense of self worth. You want her to make healthy choices and become a successful, self-reliant adult. The most powerful tool that parents have in maximizing their children’s happiness and success in life is a strong, positive, connected parent-child relationship in which the parent is the loving leader.
When you enjoy parenting, your child gets the message that he is someone who is delightful to spend time with and a pleasure to take care of. This, more than anything else, contributes to a child’s happiness and positive feelings about himself, which also leads to positive behavior. But what happens when our own reactivity gets in the way of the relationship? When our child tantrums, or refuses to go to sleep, or argues about every rule, and we snap or yell or treat our children harshly out of frustration? What if parenting is not so enjoyable—as of course is often the case!
What happens then is that no one is truly happy. Children’s behavior will worsen, and parents’ tempers will fray. It becomes a vicious cycle. The parent feels remorse or resentment or anger or guilt (or all of these!) and the child feels unhappy, certain that he must be the cause of the parent’s negative feelings. This causes the child to act out, and the parent to react, and . . . around it goes.
How I can help
If you and your child have experienced these negative interactions, you are not alone. Many parents, in fact, believe that this is just the nature of taking care of children. But it doesn’t have to be. Most of us parent the way we were parented (or the opposite), and that is not always the best model. If you would like help in turning your relationship with your child around so that it is easier and more joyful for both of you, I can help.
We will begin by clarifying your goals and the changes you want to see in your family. Then, in most cases, we will put in place some strategies for simplifying your family life that will reduce stress almost immediately and allow us room to work on connection. The payoff is less stress and more joy for both you and your children. We will work together as partners for a minimum of three months, and often longer. Many parents love the ongoing support that the coaching relationship provides. Together, we will design a plan that is right for you and your family.
I am available for personal coaching, either in my Grayslake, Illinois office, or via telephone or Skype if you live outside the local area. I also offer classes to help you simplify your life and become a happier, more relaxed, and more effective parent. Give me a call now for a free 20 minute consultation.